difficult decisions

life is full of difficult decisions.

this weekend, my brother wanted me to take him to the library, so while there, i decided that i should start reading (for pleasure) again. i think since high school, i have read maybe 1 or 2 books not for a class. i will admit it, but yes, i am ashamed. every week, newsweek interviews a writer and makes a list of his/her top 5 favorite books. a few weeks ago, they interviewed ha jin. he sounded like a modern day amy tan. and i like newsweek, and i liked amy tan when i was young, so i figured i would like ha jin. i checked out two of his books: waiting and war trash. i started reading waiting first (probably because it was shorter). it is set in cultural revolution china and is about a doctor who is trying to get out of a loveless marriage (to a woman his parents picked and she has bound feet) so he can marry is nurse girlfriend. anyway, it was totally boring. why do people write with so many dumb descriptions in such a generic way? like, who cares if a bird flies off in the distance as the protagonist walks along in the countryside? so then i became worried that all this asian drama watching had numbed my senses and made me too impatient to read. maybe i forgot that cultural revolution stories are always so cliche. [actually, i did immensely enjoy the cultural revolution novel gang of one by (a family friend!) fan shen, one of the maybe 1 or 2 books i have read since high school. seriously, i would recommend it. a fast and enjoyable read!]

so then, i decided to read something else. i had bought a copy of we the living (by ayn rand) many, many years ago, and now i finally decided to read it. by contrast, rand's descriptions are tight and fitting: "They put their bundles on the floors, and their bodies on the bundles, and slept...When at last, snorting and groaning, the train rumbled in, men besieged it with fists and feet and ferocious despair." the first chapter ends like this:

"Alighting, she stopped for one short second of hesitation, as if feeling the significance of the step. Her foot was sunburned, and she wore a home-made wooden sandal with leather straps. For one short second the foot was held in the air. Then the wooden sandal touched the wooden boards of the platform: Kira Argounova was in Petrograd."

and it was upon reading this that i knew i wanted to finish the book. you can tell already that kira argounova is going to be a hero (the likes of roark and dagny!) and now i realize why i couldn't finish waiting. the protagonist in that novel is anything but a hero. who wants to read about him??

the only problem is, i really want to know what happens next in we the living and i really want to know what happens next in sweet relationship. so what am i going to read/watch tonight?! life is full of difficult decisions.